Author:
We are writing in response to Emma Parker’s article entitled “Being Drunk is No Excuse For Losing Self-Respect.Nor the Respect of Others.” We would first like to clarify that this response is not meant as an attack on Emma or the views she expressed in her article. The article was very upsetting, frustrating and offensive to us. However, often we have found that letters to the editor, in response to other’s articles, are too focused on judging the other person instead of discussing feelings about an issue and potentially reaching a common understanding with them.
For those of you who did not read the article, Emma talked about feeling as if many Oxy students act in shameful ways at dances by making out with others and dancing in too “frisky” of a fashion. Although Emma did not specifically express that her focus is women it seems that this can be easily inferred. She referred to these “reprehensible” actions as “whoring it up” (whore – a word that is commonly used to insult females) and compared her targets to Christina Aguilera.
Therefore, from her article, we got the impression that she feels women on campus are degrading themselves by acting too promiscuously. We know that Emma is not alone in feeling this way. We have encountered many others on campus expressing similar views. It is also a common view in the world (outside of Oxy) for people to feel uncomfortable with women confident in their sexuality and wanting to explore it.
To this we ask: why? Why is it that we are viewed as the “most vulgar, least self-respecting person ever” to “lock lips and ‘get low?” (as she puts it). If you do not define this as fun then, by all means, don’t do it! But who defines what is acceptable as fun and what is not? If someone is hurting themselves or hurting someone else by kissing and getting down then I could see a problem. But if this is something that brings someone happiness and enjoyment, then why put them down for it?
The article felt very condescending to us and we got the impression that Emma (and others who share her views) feel that their way of going about their lives is superior. We do not understand where someone gets off? Who gets to create this hierarchy of our actions? The answer, we believe, is that no one should. Men have long had the freedom to opt into casual sex or not, but this is a new choice for women-once again a choice and we do not understand why choosing one over the other is deemed as better or worse. As Lauren and I frequently quote David (Paul Rudd) in 40 Year Old Virgin in referring to his ex-girlfriend’s “promiscuous” behavior, “But hey-that’s her journey and I gotta respect that.”
In the article, she expressed that it was close to impossible and definitely disgraceful for someone to be happy in the morning after drinking, kissing, and dancing “DiRRty” with others. But from talking to others who do engage in this behavior, we would have to disagree. She suggests that dance attendees “think a little more.” But this statement goes off the assumption that these people are not thinking! She explains that we are an intelligent student body, so then don’t you think that it is likely that those engaged in this behavior have chosen to do this; that they have thought about this and said I would like to make out and shake my booty with this person? (For those of you sexual assault experts, we understand that there are often times when people are taken advantage of, but there are also many times when people are conscious and active in the decision to get with someone. This is our focus).
Please do not respond to us explaining that this article was not meaning to target women and that we are just over-sensitive, crazy feminists (we already know we are!). And our feelings would be the same whether this was directed towards one sex or both. If anyone decides to respond, we would like to understand why this behavior is viewed as wrong-and before you give us some brilliant explanation like “It just is!” (we’ve heard it before!)-try to think about what we are saying and decide if your opposition is in fact your own or if you have just been taught to feel this way through old-fashioned socialization.
-Britt Karp, sophomore, Sociology
-Lauren Redford, sophomore, Politics
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