Author:
Dear Editor,
Partying 101
1. Do not linger in the front yard
2. Do not steal digital cameras
3. Do not eat the Saltines
4. Do not barf in the sink after eating said Saltines
5. Do not be too cool to dance
6. Do not poop on the floor
7. Do not pass out on owner’s bed
8. Know the hosts
9. Don’t be a freshman
10. Don’t come
You know you love us.
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