After ages of listening to whatever is on the top charts, I’ll try to find something reliable, something that brings out the past. I like to pick a song that remind me of my parents, like “The Rainbow Connection” by Kermit the Frog, or songs that I used to listen to constantly like “Pain” by PinkPanthersss, which bring out my best emotions regardless of whether I’m in a good or bad mood. Even then, these kinds of songs don’t always fit my needs, so if I want to dig deep, I slot my wire earbuds into my phone, put my earbuds in my ear, and type in M-I-T-S-K-I.
After listening to Mitski’s music for about 10-15 minutes I can’t help but find myself tearing up. I start listening to the lyrics, and it’s like my whole mood has changed. Whether Oxy’s sky is a dark shade of gray, or a lovely blue, I will find my eyes watering up. The ironic thing is that the song doesn’t have to be particularly sad, but it still strikes a chord in my heart. Yet this isn’t something that is exclusive to just me. Often, the mere mention of a Mitski song or its lyrics will cause an almost traumatic response in listeners like myself, like a war flashback.
Mitski is able to provoke such an honest reaction from her audience because she is honest herself. Mitski, who debuted her first album, “Lush,” in 2012, has written many a song, but many of her most popular and well-written songs are about loneliness, relationships and wanting. Take “I Bet on Losing Dogs,” which has a 4.6/5 on Musicboard and is, in my opinion, one of her saddest songs. Mitski bets on a “losing dog,” that being the relationship, and she “knows they’re losing” but regardless, she “pays for her place by the ring.” This song is about wanting someone even if the relationship is doomed, but doing it anyway.
We can also see this deep emotion in another Mitski song “Your Best American Girl.” In the song, which is also on the “Puberty 2” album, Mitski feels like she can’t be with this guy whom she sees as perfect because she doesn’t think she is good enough for him. She believes that her “big spoon[…] has too much to do” and she has “nothing ahead of” her. Even though he is “all [she] ever wanted,” the future is impossible, because she can’t be the “All-American Girl” to his “All-American Boy.” When Mitski writes about wanting something you can never have, she asks us to confront this eternal torture.
To love is to be scared. We’re scared of knowing that something you have invested your soul into, like a relationship, may not go the way you want it to. When we are then asked to confront this, we become avoidant, because we don’t always know the emotions waiting on the other side. We hate to realize that, though we can control most parts of our lives, love is out of our control. But when others and I listen to Mitski, it allows us to filter our emotions in a way that is cathartic. I find that so gratifying, as it is often hard to feel real emotions. Society asks us to be strong, so we hide what is most vulnerable. When we are able to alleviate these emotions, we take a weight off our backs.
Although others like myself have felt emotionally provoked by Mitski’s songs, I think this is what makes her different from other artists. In an attempt to figure out how songs about relationships in general are different from Mitski’s songs in this genre, I decided to listen to “Heartache” and “A Good Cry,” two Apple Music-curated playlists. In both playlists, after listening to only a couple of songs, I noticed a theme. These songs, like Mitski’s, focus on relationships, yet they focus on trying to uplift, forget or detest your ex. They want you to move on from the ex in all the ways they can, by making you forget your ex. Yet when I listen to Mitski I don’t feel that. Instead, she wants you to feel some of the difficult emotions that go along with a relationship, like wanting to be in an impossible relationship. Mitski touches on the deep love one often feels for their ex after a break-up, while other artists don’t.
If Mitski songs bring out such strong emotions in people like myself, why do we continue to listen to her? It seems strange to listen to a song that will make you cry. Yet after I have cried my heart out to a Mitski song, I usually feel better because I can take a weight off my back. We carry many heavy emotions every day, and they will eventually emerge — often in a destructive manner. So instead of bottling up your emotions, you could listen to Mitski, and cry them out instead.
Contact Luca Lennon at llennon@oxy.edu
this is awesome