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When applying to college senior year, I found my choices limited to Stanford, Harvard, Occidental, and New Mexico Institute of Mining and Technology. Shunning the rest for the luxuries of Oxy, Eagle Rock, and squalid air quality, I found myself in the prime position for my new college experience, ready to embrace Geo. 105 and crashing upperclassmen parties. Little did I know, there lurked in the shadows an evil entity waiting to destroy my college experience: that monstrous mountain that lurks behind lower campus, straddled at its apex by Braun Hall, the Eagle’s Nest of this private little Berchtesgarden. Down the scalding parking lot behind Braun and through the crusty shade of Sycamore Glen I went, fearing the return up the hill in 90ºF (32.2ºC for our international readers) heat and on a 38º slope. Built in 1913, the stairs between Fowler and Johnson have been there, sitting, waiting, biding their time while the City of Angels grew up around it, covering itself with a veil of concrete to create a heat island worthy of the Devil’s inhabitance. I direct this question to you, editor of the paper: Why? Why did my fellow freshmen and I have to bear through this experience? Now, as a sophomore, I am pleased to say that I reside on lower campus; however, every time I see a young, na’ve, weary student pass by with their lanyard around their neck I have flashbacks to the days of my treacherous hikes and I feel for them. Is hazing not considered a felony under California State Senate Bill 1454? I ask you, dear Occidental Students, to be the judge. Be the Americans to our Normandy; storm the hill and raze it to the ground. Take what is rightfully yours and make of this place what you dreamed. Rebuild upon its bones and remains new monuments of victory over this beast: a new residence hall. Please, build this one with A/C.
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