Author: Chad Wyszynski
For at least three millennia, philosophers and theologians and normal people have struggled to solve the mystery of life. But this question need trouble us no more; it has been solved by a Los Angeles cemetery no more than 4 miles away from Oxy. The place is Forest Lawn.
Forest Lawn Memorial Park is a chain of cemeteries that has been around L.A. since 1906. Guide books recommend it, Oxy CSPs have studied it and Evelyn Waugh, author of Brideshead Revisited, wrote a satirical novel about it. Whether it’s the stately grass or the over-the-top approach to death, the place attracts attention.
The Glendale Forest Lawn is difficult to miss. Its massive iron gates at the entrance give way to an elaborate tutor-style mortuary and a sprawling acreage of green. The mortuary alone is worth the trip.
True to L.A. form, a car is a necessity for exploring the massive cemetery. I picked up a free map from a friendly man working an information kiosk. When I asked if I needed anything else, he assured me that there are no fees for entrance or parking; the whole place is free.
A quick scan of the map illustrates the infamous style of morbidity unique to Forest Lawn. The lawn is divided into sections with names like “Slumber Land” and “Rest Haven.” “Lullaby Land,” a section devoted to babies and infants, is shaped like a heart. Passing funeral services and soon-to-buried coffins on “Everlasting Love Drive” was both an unsettling and thought-provoking experience; perhaps an insight into how America approaches death.
For the highlights, follow Cathedral Drive: you’ll see the museum, an impressive and architecturally confused church, and a full-sized copy of Michelangelo’s David.
The museum offers a few classy exhibits, one on European stained glass from the 14th to the 20th centuries, and another with a Buguereau painting and a full-scale reproduction of Ghiberti’s Baptistery Doors. But to get to those, I had to brave the tacky Tiki exhibit which welcomes visitors to the museum. It’s basically Edward Said’s nightmare; an assemblage of Tiki pictures, sculptures, and coffee mugs exoticizing and parodying the Hawaiian figures. I haven’t the slightest idea why this exhibit is at a cemetery, and that’s what makes it wonderful.
Next to the museum is the Hall of the Crucifixion church. The building is an odd imitation of European art movements, mixing Gothic and Romanesque arches, rose windows and square Corinthian columns. It’s worth a look if only for its departure from the usual American church.
The David stands next to my favorite part of the cemetery, the Gardens of Memory. This small sculpture garden contains an impressive statue which, according to the Forest Lawn Web site, “depicts the meaning of life as interpreted by its 18 life-sized figures.” If a glance at the sculptures does not demystify what is arguably life’s toughest question, the nearby plaques explain it all.
This is just a glimpse of the oddities at the Glendale Forest Lawn, which is but one of the seven Forest Lawn locations. Though it wasn’t as flat out camp as I expected, it feels overly sincere, and, consequently, more than a little fake – which is what makes the place worth visiting. Between the morbidity and the sugar coating, a visit to Glendale’s Forest Lawn will be some of the strangest hours spent in L.A.
Glendale’s Forest Lawn is located on 1712 S Glendale Ave. Take the 2 south to San Fernando Rd, turn right on San Fernando, then right onto S Glendale Avenue. You should see the huge iron gates. 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. daily.
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