Author: Berit Anderson
On Feb. 26 Dean Avery sent an e-mail to the Occidental student body outlining the school’s new sophomore housing policy, whereby beginning with the class of 2012, students will be required to live on-campus for their first two years of college. My first instinct, of course, was to be outraged at the injustices of inflicting a strangling new policy on unsuspecting young innocents, still shimmering with the hope characteristic of those untainted by college debauchery. I still expect a few raving LTE’s advocating the rights of sophomores worldwide to live freely, but my name won’t be appearing on the byline. This is one administrative policy that I feel makes perfect sense.
Critics of the new rule argue that it’s just another attempt to grab more of our parents’ hard-earned cash. While I can’t comment on the validity of this accusation, if it were true, administrative financial advisors might want to take a brush up course in Econ 101. According to Dean Avery’s email, only 40 sophomores are currently living off-campus. A spot in a standard double-occupancy room on-campus runs at $5,220 for the academic year. If all of these deviants were instead living on-campus, Oxy would only be making an additional $20,880 this year-less than half of our current tuition. That’s peas and carrots in the grand scale of academia finances, and this is assuming that the college can house these students at no cost, which is obviously false.
Still, even if this new policy was financially motivated, which I don’t believe it is, would that be so wrong? The job of our grand institution is to provide us with the best possible educational opportunities and living services. That’s difficult to accomplish without any cash. With extensive dorm renovations taking place across campus, and a newly renovated library, I would say Oxy is doing a pretty excellent job of keeping up its facilities. All these improvements should help strengthen the value of our diplomas, even if Obama loses the election-and they have to be funded by someone.
The new housing regulations won’t actually affect any current students, but for all those prospects who are so on the ball that they’ve already begun reading the Weekly online, I have some words of consolation. Living off-campus isn’t always what its cracked up to be. Of course, you can participate in all manner of illicit activities without having to worry about Campus Safety getting involved. Unfortunately, when you or your guests do get out of hand, the actual “po-po” might pay you a visit. Unlike our faithful campus police, LAPD officers carry guns and can slap you with some serious fines or time in the clink if it comes down to it.
Secondly, living off campus, you are responsible for feeding yourself every time you get hungry. No one’s going to fry you up a salmon fillet with a side of grilled asparagus just because you asked nicely unless you’re prepared to fork over some serious cash and a sizable tip. That is, unless you’ve chosen your housemates very wisely. Furthermore, Marketplace money, once so fun and disposable, becomes real. I still cringe every time I swipe away four and a half precious dollars for a bottle of orange juice.
Perhaps the greatest detriment to off-campus living is the amount of cleaning you will find yourself doing. When Oxy isn’t paying anyone to scrub your toilet or take out your trash, you either have to do it yourself or wallow about in your own filth. If someone you only vaguely know decides to projectile vomit a melee of spaghetti, Oreos and cheap red wine onto your rug, you will be the one down on your knees with stain remover and steel wool the next morning so that your landlord doesn’t decide to keep your deposit when your lease runs out.
Forcing sophomores to live off-campus might not be the most popular choice the administration has ever made, but with so many dorms undergoing renovations it would be a waste of time and money not to put them to good use. Not to mention Dean Avery’s claim that students who live on-campus have higher GPA’s and graduation rates. Still, try not to lose all hope if you find you have an unusual attachment to the toilet brush or the scent of second-time-around spaghetti. Special petitions for sophomore off-campus housing will be considered by Residence Life and Housing Services on a case-by-case basis.
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