Author: Kelly Neukom
I’ve never been happy with my body.
This statement shouldn’t surprise you. Most women (and some men) loathe their bodies. It doesn’t matter how thin they are, how tan they are, how toned they are-there is always something wrong with them. I have had so many friends say to me, “I’d just be happy with myself if I lost 10 lbs.” Then, when they lose that weight, they say, “Just another 10 lbs., and I’ll be perfect.” It never ends.
It’s stupid too because there is nothing wrong with my body. Everything works fine. One of my closest friends tore her ACL (a ligament in her knee) in middle school and can never run again. Another one of my friends had arthritis in her fingers when we were young and still has to wear special rings to straighten them out. I am blessed with a body that can do anything-walk, run, swim, even arch into a bridge. I have a healthy BMI, no allergies, good blood pressure-I’ve never even had a bloody nose.
Yet I still use every glance I get of myself in the mirror to look at my flaws. No matter how much time I spend in the morning trying to make myself look good, there is always something wrong with my appearance that I can latch onto. I sneak glances at girls in the quad, wishing I had her legs and her waist. I agonize over buying ice cream at the Cooler. “Will people think I’m fat for getting it?” I wonder. “Maybe I should just get black coffee. But I don’t want black coffee. But it’s not about what I want-it’s about looking like I’m trying to lose the weight I already have.”
Now, at 22 years of age, I’m getting really sick of it. I used to not wear tank tops because I was afraid people would think my arms looked bad. But then I saw girls with thicker arms than I wearing tank tops, and guess what? They looked great. While most women agonize over buying swimsuits, I recently felt victorious when buying my first bikini. I was incredibly nervous the first time I wore it to the beach, but then I realized that no one was paying attention to how I looked in a swimsuit-they were all worried about how they looked. Once this thought occurred to me, I had no problem enjoying jumping into the waves or building sand castles, showing more skin than I had in years. I felt like a little kid again.
Although I do think men have an easier time loving their bodies just as they are, I don’t think the “patriarchal society” is totally to blame for female body issues. I think most of our insecurity stems not from our culture or our friends, but ourselves. I now realize that it really is the most confident people who are the most widely liked, not the thinnest or the ones with the best bone structure. If you love yourself, others will follow suit.
With this in mind, I decided to write a list of the things I loved about myself physically, explaining each one. While I can list things I love about my personality or intelligence ad infinitum, finding reasons to love how I looked was extremely difficult to do without being sarcastic. However, I prevailed. Here are some examples:
1) My eyes. I love having green eyes because they are the most rare and distinctive.
2) My eyelashes. They are dark and long even without mascara.
3) My hair. I love being a brunette in LA-I definitely stand out.
4) My skin tone. Although I sometimes lament being pale, I like not having the skin tone everyone else wants.
5) My lips. I have very full lips (courtesy of my dad) and they make the perfect pout.
6) My teeth. My orthodontist is amazing.
There are five other things I discovered I liked about myself, but this article isn’t about me-it’s about you. I challenge each and every one of you (male or female, college student or professor, self-assured or self-loathing) to make a list of at least 10 things you like about yourself appearance-wise. No snide remarks, no “buts”-nothing but pure, simple things that make you uniquely hot.
I’m not saying doing this will make you happy with yourself forever more, but it does make you feel good when you finish, and you’ll always have the list to look back on when you start to feel like less of a beauty and more of a beast. Maybe it will even make you comfortable enough with yourself to order the Mint Chip next time, without the side of guilt.
Kelly Neukom is a senior ECLS major. She can be reached at kneukom@oxy.edu.
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