Valentine’s Day has been my favorite holiday since I was 15. Pink decor, chocolates sold in heart-shaped boxes and beautiful flowers sold at stores everywhere bring the reminder that spring is soon to come. What I love most is crafting cards for the people I love: creating tangible pieces to show love for the people who make up my life. Sometimes this would include a girlfriend, other times not, but it always includes my friends and family. Over time, Valentine’s Day has become not just a day for me to celebrate or wish for romantic love. Instead, it has become a holiday I anticipate because it allows me to remember the people in my life who amplify the love I give and receive.
Growing up, I had no good feelings towards Valentine’s Day. I thought it was a useless holiday and part of that was because I was still young and didn’t have any significant other to celebrate with. The media I consumed centering around the holiday consisted of a celebration limited to two romantically involved people. All the Valentine’s Day episodes on TV, every romantic comedy and the store advertisements all reinforced the same image: couples exchanging gifts, going on dates, performing grand gestures. At a young age, this was of no interest to me because it did not pertain to my life. It was like an unspoken rule; if you weren’t with someone, the holiday wasn’t for you. And as I grew older, that theme still rang true. If you weren’t in a relationship, it was a holiday you were supposed to hate, complain about, dread. But something about that doesn’t sit right with me.
I often feel as though we forget about platonic and familial love in our lives. It’s not just romance that makes a meaningful life, it’s also friendships and familial relationships. Platonic love shows up in ways that media seems to overlook, but are deeply important in real life. This is the love seen in the friends who are there for you when you’re going through a hard time, who hug you through the tears and find ways to make you laugh when it feels like your world is ending. All the late night sleepovers and days spent together seem little at the time, but they add up.
Familial love, which shows up in the routines of daily life, is also an important part of a meaningful life. Sharing meals together with people who care about you, siblings who find a way to annoy you while simultaneously making you feel less alone and parental figures who provide unconditional support. There are so many people who bring love into our lives, it’s impossible to pinpoint only one person who does it all. On a day centered around love, why must we limit ourselves to celebrating only one type of love? Is it not more fulfilling to recognize and celebrate the multitude of love that surrounds us, built through so many people?
I have chosen to redefine Valentine’s Day. Instead of a day that can only be celebrated by couples, it has become a day when I can celebrate the true meaning behind the holiday: love. Yes, romance is still a part of that, but it is no longer the limit.
In a world that constantly shows us the ways people practice hate and division, it becomes more important to celebrate and remind ourselves of the love that still exists. Every day we are exposed to conflict: political polarization, online hostility and global crises that make the world feel more disconnected. When experiencing tragedy, it can feel easier to focus on what separates us rather than what brings us together. Using Valentine’s Day to celebrate love in all its forms gives us the opportunity to celebrate togetherness.
Taking a day to intentionally celebrate friends, family, teachers, partners and everyone who supports you, can remind us that care and love exist all around us, even when it feels like it doesn’t. At a time when loneliness is increasingly common and real connections can feel rare, choosing to express love is especially important. Valentine’s Day, when broadened beyond romance, becomes a day less about exclusivity and more about gratitude. Instead of limiting this day to its generic meaning, we can use it as a collective celebration for all of the people who make our lives meaningful and help us remember what real love looks like.
This year, I have already started my crafting journey. Although I’m no artist, I’ve been greatly enjoying creating little cards to send out to my loved ones at home and give to my friends here. I’ll be eating chocolate that comes in heart-shaped boxes, wearing lots of pink and on Valentine’s Day, I’ll get flowers to have in my room. I plan to celebrate the love I have for so many people in my life, and I hope that others will join me.
Contact Anya McGowan at amcgowan@oxy.edu
