Author: Emily Jensen
I may not be huddled in a corner clawing at coke bugs and muttering obscenities about my imaginary friends, but I assure you that I’m nursing a serious addiction. The signs are all there: I can be seen lurking through the eerie grove of trees next to the Cooler, plotting how to get my next fix; I use first thing in the morning, and without my drug of choice I can be prone to irritability and even violent outbreaks. Don’t judge me: I’m a coffee addict. But in my time at Oxy, I’ve been exploited to an appallingly nasty punishment for my habit. Each time I haul my withdrawal-ravaged body up to the Cooler’s bagel display case to order my carefully planned espresso drink, I fool myself into believing that this time things will be better; maybe the milk won’t be burnt and watery. Maybe the chocolate syrup won’t pollute the entire beverage with its overly sugary blasphemy. And maybe, just maybe, the flavor of my beloved espresso won’t be suspiciously bitter and empty, despite the deceptive smiling children advertising the moral superiority of the coffee on the sleeve around the cup. But based on the consistent betrayal this coffee delivers, even the little children can’t convince me that it originated anywhere but Hell itself.
I know I’m not the only one. Many friends, and I would assume legions of other habitual coffee users suffering silently, lament the torturous lack of quality both in the coffee itself and its preparation. We should not be punished for our love of the bean. Science has proven that caffeine has positive effects on attentiveness and fact retention; it would be beneficial for our school to provide its students with a quality source of this elixir of education. Entering my second year of putting up with half-ass coffee drinks, I’ve had enough of this sick game. I set out to find some answers.
As it turns out, the problem is twofold. The first obstacle in the way of quality beverages is the coffee beans themselves. Oxy buys its coffee from a company called Pura Vida, which boasts its authority as a certified Fair Trade company that grows organic beans. And while its mission to better the lives of growers and their families is noble and worthy, Pura Vida may not be our best option. According to a New York Times article that follows the abroad adventures of independent coffee roasters such as Portland’s Stumptown, a business practice known as direct trade is the best way to get great coffee without violating moral ethics. Direct trade essentially means that roasters buy directly from the growers rather than through a broker-this guarantees both the fair and ethical treatment of growers as well as the superior quality of the beans and the practice is preferred over fair trade by most highly regarded indie roasters.
While switching to a direct trade distributor would be an incredible victory for addicts across campus, the second reason that Oxy coffee sucks would be the easiest to amend. According to members of the Cooler staff, training for coffee beverage preparation is minimal-new staffers are simply told to watch what the older staff members do, and if they have any questions they can refer to a chart on the wall. Factor in the pressure of a line of 15 impatient customers waiting to order and it’s no mystery why Cooler coffee never comes out right. I harbor no resentment for the students trying to make me my drinks-they have no obligation to professional-grade espresso because they haven’t had the proper training. The best solution would be to hire a professional barista, perhaps someone who could man the alleged summer coffee cart whose mythical existence I’ve heard tales of but never actually witnessed. I can guarantee that this investment would be a wild success based solely on my inevitable tri-daily visits.
But until something changes, my habit will only worsen. If I end up the subject of an after-school special that tells the cautionary tale of my spiral into addictive oblivion, the finger of blame will no doubt be pointing in the direction of the College’s inaction.
Emily Jensen is an undeclared sophomore. She can be reached at ejensen@oxy.edu.
This article has been archived, for more requests please contact us via the support system.
